I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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