she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
