I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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