Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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