Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
