i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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