Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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