I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
