if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize