God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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