They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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