I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm at about main and main street
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
