So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
