1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
In America we eat man semen.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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