Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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