Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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