Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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