I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
