It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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