Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
