So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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