so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
