You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize