where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I touched a dick in church today
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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