I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize