Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
