we have pet lesbian snakes
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize