The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
