Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
