If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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