In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
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I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
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That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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