With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
