I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
