Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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