I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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