I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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