Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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