your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
