He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
