Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
