I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
