EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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