I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
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he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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