Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
