It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
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I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
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So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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