Me too!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
