i would punch a child for taco bell
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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