Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
