TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
