found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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