I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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