her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
