either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
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I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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