Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize