there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
