I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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