Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
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you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
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IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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