So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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