laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
