it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
