I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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