Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
