so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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