Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
