so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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